DURHAM, N.C.—To most of her students, Spanish Professor Jennifer Hart is an enigma. While most professors mention some biographical information on the first day of class or sprinkle in some personal anecdotes throughout the semester, Hart’s students report the professor hasn’t offered up any of those details.
“It’s weird, especially for a smaller language class. Like, you don’t even want to show us pictures of your pet?” said Bryce Lane (T ‘27). “Does she think we’re stalkers or something?”
Sarah Anderson (T ‘26) also expressed disappointment in her instructor’s secrecy. “Her house isn’t on Zillow, I can’t find her voter registration, no LinkedIn, it’s like she doesn’t even exist,” Anderson said. “I don’t even care that much, it’s just annoying that I can’t get that info.”
Given Hart’s reluctance to indulge her students, the class has resorted to creative means in order to cobble together a coherent picture of their professor’s life.
Now, every time she opens YouTube to show the class a Spanish video, Hart’s students all zero in on her recommendations. “They can really say a lot about most people,” Lane added.
Students utilized deep analytic techniques and algorithms to glean info from Hart’s recommendations. “She watches a lot of Family Guy compilations, mostly seasons 4 and 5. From this, we were able to conclude she’s a traditionalist with subtle pangs of yearning for the Bush era,” said Anderson.
Lane added, “She keeps on getting ads for women’s clothing, which clearly means she’s suffering from some sort of disorder, maybe bulimia or anorexia? We haven’t pinned down which one yet. We all hope she gets the help she needs.”
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