DURHAM, N.C.—Emilio Branson (T ‘26) was nominated for an Academy Award after a gut-wrenchingly beautiful performance of “I Forgot My Wallet” in front of the BC Plaza Hurricane Relief Table.
Branson’s performance last Wednesday was a complex amalgamation of both subtle and dramatic gestures, which included aggressively patting his pockets, flashing watery regretful eyes, and over-mouthing the words, “Sorry, my wallet.” He also dropped to his knees in front of the donation table and shed real tears before getting up and walking into the Bryan Center, without having to donate.
The next day, Branson received the call that he was nominated for the “Best Performance” category.
“I genuinely thought Emilio forgot his wallet,” said Branson’s roommate Benji Allende (P ‘26), who witnessed the event. “Until, like, a minute later when he whipped it out to buy a Twinkie from the University Store.”
Branson’s scene was so convincing he even convinced Jackie Carr (T ‘27), one of the student volunteers collecting donations at the Hurricane Relief Table. “You’re joking,” Carr said. “You’re telling me he actually had money on him?”
However, such a skill didn’t come naturally to Branson. “I got a lot of practice rehearsing with the homeless people near Ninth Street,” he said. In a celebratory Instagram post, Branson dedicated his nomination to “the Academy,” “my dad, for making me into a pathological liar,” and “Mel, who lives in the Whole Foods Parking lot.”
Other nominees for “Best Performance” include the friend who promised he’d attend your acapella show, that girl who told you she’d love a second date, and Shia LaBeouf.
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