It’s the middle of the Championship Series. Unfortunately, your New York roommate can’t stop talking about how he really wants to see the Subway Series. Of course, you’re way too afraid to ask him anything because you know he will launch into a 3 hour, extremely heated tangent about random names you don’t know or care about.
Here’s a quick breakdown of what’s happening, so you can follow what your roommate says: The New York Yankees… Never mind, I know you were not about to read that.
Instead, here are some key phrases to piss off your baseball-loving roommate (and sound like you know baseball):
1) “Aaron Judge isn’t the AL MVP because he chokes in the postseason” – Your roommate will be extremely upset and quickly point out that MVP award doesn’t include the postseason.
2) “Ohtani (pronounce it however you want, the worse the better) is underrated” – while true, most people hate hearing this because he’s paid 700 million dollars and is the most loved player by MLB commentators and media. There’s no such thing as underrating him.
3) “I hope the Guardians beat the Yankees” – any reasonable baseball fan wants the Yankees to win. If they do, then the World Series (MLB finals) is going to be a fun matchup no matter who they play. If they don’t, there’s basically no point in watching the World Series.
4) “Baseball is boring” – this one is definitely true, and there’s no argument. But your roommate loves the sport anyway, so it makes him upset. He’ll probably tell you that you just don’t understand the game, and that’s why you find it boring.
If you don’t wanna do any of that, because it would be talking about baseball, just kill your roommate. It’s probably justified at this point, and with baseball viewership already on the decline, why not help out a little?
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