WASHINGTON D.C.– President Joseph R. Biden officially confirmed last night that he was former President Barack Obama’s vice president and humbly asked voters to consider voting for the Obama-Biden ticket in 2024.
Immediately following the Vice Presidential Debate in New York on October 1st, Biden captured the media’s attention by holding an unplanned press conference. The three people in attendance were anticipating strategic commentary on the debate, or perhaps an inspirational speech to rally the people for the 30 days leading up to Election Day.
In a shocking turn of events, President Biden began candidly announcing to a room full of reporters that he had officially accepted Former President Obama’s invitation to be his running mate for the 2024 election.
“My fellow Amarylands, it has been the greatest honor to– listen, this is what we live for. Honor, freedom, the pursuit of handiness.” [approximately 7 minutes of unintelligible speaking have been cut here to facilitate reading experience] “It’s been the greatest honor of my life to serve as your President for the past fifty years. But I believe it’s in the best interest of my party, my people, my country, and my people for me to serve as your Vice President. I humbly ask–”
Seconds later, Biden fell asleep and was carried off the stage by First Lady Jill Biden.
Some of the President’s staff, who haven’t requested to remain anonymous but weren’t relevant enough to mention, are unanimously behind his decision to run. One admiring member of his staff explained, “that wasn’t what we had written at all. He said that entirely without preparation. If that isn’t someone worthy of being our Vice President, I don’t know who is.”
There are some doubts amongst voters and your politically inactive friends, but Biden warned of this, and in fact demonstrated the best course of action when confronted with challenging questions: his signature grin.
Barack Obama’s team reached out and asked forcefully for this story to be removed, likely because they don’t want their political strategy to be exposed. Surprisingly, Harris and her campaign team have declined to comment, but are sure to release a statement in the coming weeks.
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