Go ahead and put his address into Zillow. There are now a few more things you have to think about besides the fact that he and his family...

Durham, NC—Pigeons do not care about your politics. In fact, the latest New York Times poll disclosed that 0% of all pigeons were...

It’s time we get real: masks do not protect us. They are flimsy little pieces of cloth that cannot even remotely compare to a US Army...

WEST CAMPUS—Okay, you’re probably worried about upcoming midterms? Global Pandemic always on your mind? Maybe your grandma is sick—I...

EAST CAMPUS—Sources report that Jenny Baker and Alexa Schneider, Class of 2024, have miraculously brainstormed a way to keep their...

Charles “Charlie” Moran, 18, sits down at the interview in a casual, crystalline white hoodie and what appears to be an upside-down Cross...

The Amazon Rainforest, Brazil—After weeks of investigative reporting, The Fluke News is shocked to find that 21.7% of global...

EAST CAMPUS—The results of last week’s election are being puzzled over by staff and students alike after the shocking revelation that...

DURHAM, NC—It’s getting steamy! 57-year-old history professor Matthew Johnson accidentally assigned himself to a breakout room with the...

For fellow students living off campus, missing out on exotic but comfortable food from West Union is one of the biggest challenges. If...

DURHAM, NC—Wednesday night certainly did not go as expected for Duke freshmen Todd Edwards and Thalia Stein. As the freshmen couple...

(404) 702-0506. Please call me.

AU BON PAIN—It’s 10:30 AM on a Tuesday, I’m hungover from spending Monday night drinking to forget my public policy assignments. I...

THE UNITED STATES—All across our great nation, the lower class is rejoicing. The widespread expectation of masks has allowed for the...

WEST CAMPUS—With Div Cafe closed, God has nothing to eat. And those tummy rumbles really hit different when they each cause a vengeful...

DURHAM, NC — Kappa Alpha Order recently published a decrease in membership dues, despite losing more than 20 members to academic...

GILES PARTY, ROOM 203—In effort to be more progressive, this Duke freshman, who entered the room nailed to a wooden cross, introduced...

EAST CAMPUS, DUKE—Despite the Warhol-esque splatters of someone else’s puke covering his body, Trevor was safe from COVID-19. Why?...

DURHAM, NC—In an email leaked by the Dean of Pratt’s son, Duke Provost Sally Kornbluth announced an update to the SymMon app. Kornbluth...

DURHAM, NC—In a hallmark innovation at the nexus of environmentalism and the Military-Industrial-Academic Complex, a Bass Connections...