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The Fluke News Staff
Apr 8, 20221 min read
5 Strategies to Get Better in Bed: Sleep with Other Men for Practice
“Babe, you have to understand, I slept with her for you!” Too often do girls hear these words from their faithful, loving, handsome...
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The Fluke News Staff
Apr 7, 20221 min read
Kilgo Laundry Thief and Few Arsonist overshadowed by more terrifying Edens Toe Tickler
DURHAM, NC—Although the fear and isolation of the Covid-19 pandemic have ended for the majority of campus, the same cannot be said for...
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The Fluke News Staff
Apr 7, 20221 min read
Irresponsibly selfish psychopath requests stop on C1
C1 BUS, CAMPUS DRIVE—This morning, at 8:17 a.m., an atrocious tragedy occurred. Onlookers were shocked as the unthinkable occured as the...
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The Fluke News Staff
Apr 7, 20221 min read
Duke raises tuition to provide every puppy kindergartener with a brand new iPad
DURHAM, N.C.—Looks like it’ll be time to play “Poodle Jump” and “Angry Barks” for some of our favorite campus canines! This week, every...
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The Fluke News Staff
Apr 7, 20221 min read
What is a libertarian and why can’t they help me checkout a book?
PERKINS LIBRARY—One fateful day, Faye Pelosi (Trinity ’24) stumbled across the perennial problem of finding a book in the maze of Perkins...
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The Fluke News Staff
Apr 6, 20220 min read
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The Fluke News Staff
Apr 6, 20220 min read
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The Fluke News Staff
Apr 1, 20221 min read
Lottery winners travel to New Orleans to support Duke in the Final Four
After a lottery hosted Monday, 700 students will be traveling to New Orleans to support Duke Men’s Basketball in the Final Four game...
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The Fluke News Staff
Apr 1, 20221 min read
Duke graduate programs earn top marks in US News Rankings
DURHAM, NC—The US News and World Report has just come out with new rankings of the country’s top graduate programs, and Duke scored well....
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The Fluke News Staff
Mar 21, 20220 min read
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The Fluke News Staff
Mar 14, 20221 min read
If you ever think you’re annoying, remember someone has a podcast called “So... that’s a thing"
DURHAM, NC—Guys, let’s face it, adulting is hard! Thank God I can sit down and listen to Becca and Brady “do a funny” every Thursday...
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The Fluke News Staff
Mar 14, 20221 min read
Breaking: My colorblind lab partner messed up our titration
DURHAM, NC - While many Duke students arrive on campus in search of romantic chemistry, other students, especially those who identify...
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The Fluke News Staff
Mar 3, 20221 min read
Op-ed: If it stays unread it can't hurt me
PERKINS LIBRARY—As a woman in STEM who has yet to reach my pre-operational phase, I am confident that if I can’t see something, it simply...
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The Fluke News Staff
Mar 3, 20221 min read
Chevron intern promises to solve climate change from the inside
HOUSTON, TX—When junior Pita Davidson was looking for a way to help fight the climate crisis, he looked to none other than one of the...
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The Fluke News Staff
Mar 3, 20221 min read
Kilgo laundry thief caught, revealed to be little people living in the walls
DURHAM, N.C.—Months of rumors and accusations can finally be put to rest after the true source of Kilgo’s laundry robberies was...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 28, 20222 min read
Fluke endorses Dilbert Anchovy for DSG President
DUKE UNIVERSITY—In recognition of its cherished and crucial role as the voice of the people, The Fluke has decided to officially endorse...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 14, 20221 min read
It’s not a “self-care” day, you’re just single
DURHAM, NC—Isabel Solita (Trinity ‘25) got a manicure, put on an avocado sheet mask, and thought to herself—why am I so desperately...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 7, 20221 min read
Duke student who already finished all her work for the semester asks what else she can do
SOCIAL SCIENCES—Duke student Molly Schaefer (Trinity ‘24) has bravely finished all her homework assignments for the semester. When asked...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 7, 20221 min read
Inspiring: Short Film Opens With Shot of Alarm Clock Going Off
ARTS ANNEX—Declaring the artistic venture “pretty much the coolest shit I’ve ever done,” VMS major Albert Pace (Trinity ’23) is currently...
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