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The Fluke News Staff
Mar 30, 20211 min read
After watching “MONTERO” video, this heterosexual, women-loving Cru member has faith crisis
DURHAM, NC—Following a mention of the new Lil Nas X music video from his preacher, local cru member Jake had to see what all of the fuss...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 14, 20212 min read
In honor of Black History Month, sororities' rush themes to include "hip-hop" and "ACAB" days
HOLLOWS A—A sorority sister wearing a “Systemic racism sucks” shirt and earrings reading “White solidarity” opens the door as “Sicko...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 14, 20212 min read
Greek life asks all rushees to use "tú" in place of "usted" during informal rush
DURHAM, NC — This week, the Fluke News obtained an email sent out to male-identifying freshmen and sophomores about Greek Life’s informal...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 6, 20213 min read
The Fluke News Exclusive Interview with UNCVirginity
The University of North Carolina is ranked as one of the nation’s top schools in sending students home. However, UNC is currently...
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The Fluke News Staff
Oct 9, 20202 min read
Profile: Meet the Frat Boy who pledges to reform KKK from within
Charles “Charlie” Moran, 18, sits down at the interview in a casual, crystalline white hoodie and what appears to be an upside-down Cross...
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The Fluke News Staff
Sep 14, 20202 min read
The Great Equalizer: Ugly people in masks can now flirt with attractive people
THE UNITED STATES—All across our great nation, the lower class is rejoicing. The widespread expectation of masks has allowed for the...
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The Fluke News Staff
Jun 17, 20202 min read
Asian mom breaks silence on anti-black racism: "You know I had it hard too, right?"
BAY AREA, CA—The recent protests on police brutality and anti-black racism have sparked many discussions in households across the...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 25, 20201 min read
PASH hosts session to pleasure you like your man never could
CLASSROOM BUILDING, EAST CAMPUS–Last Tuesday, PASH hosted a successful session to pleasure you like your man never could. In an attempt...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 25, 20201 min read
Pokemon Club most diverse on campus, has 807 different types
DURHAM, NC–In the war against tokenism, there is no braver soldier than Pikachu. The Duke Pokemon Club has proudly announced that they’ve...
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The Fluke News Staff
Feb 18, 20201 min read
Girl adds joining a low-tier sorority to Volunteer section of resume
DURHAM, NC—This rush season, Jessica Glad, of the Glad trash bag fortune, felt like giving back. Rather than join the ranks of the Key...
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The Fluke News Staff
Jan 28, 20201 min read
Q&A: Mirecourt rushee excited to fear own living space
DURHAM, NC— As rush season concludes, Duke students are often left with questions regarding the process. How do deliberations work? Who...
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The Fluke News Staff
Jan 22, 20201 min read
"I'm just here with my friends," says first-year who would kill a small child to get into Cooper
CROWELL EE–First-year rushee Becky Briggs has been telling both herself and others that she isn’t really serious about rush, because...
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The Fluke News Staff
Jan 20, 20201 min read
Despite commitment to diversity, sorority has no Geminis
DURHAM, NC — Amidst the chants and half-hearted embraces with their new sisters, the key three sororities welcomed their latest pledge...
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The Fluke News Staff
Dec 4, 20191 min read
Man supports times up, but wouldn't mind being catcalled himself
DURHAM, NC— Sophomore Justin Blanco told his friend on Tuesday that while he’s “all for” the cause of Times Up, he personally “won’t...
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The Fluke News Staff
Dec 3, 20191 min read
Update: He doesn't like you, he genuinely just likes playing Cup Pong
DURHAM, NC — Sources confirm that local heartbreaker Mason Cooper’s constant Cup Pong requests, often mistaken for flirtation and actual...
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The Fluke News Staff
Nov 27, 20191 min read
Turkey pardoned this year was a war criminal
When will this administration realize it’s going too far? This Thanksgiving, the president used the pardon traditionally given to a...
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The Fluke News Staff
Nov 19, 20191 min read
The floor is lava (and by lava we mean a mixture of beer, glitter, and urine)
DURHAM, NC — Multiple Duke fraternities have recently devised a fun twist on 2017’s viral “the floor is lava” game. It’s a trend that’s...
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The Fluke News Staff
Nov 15, 20191 min read
Opinion: Guys, I’m sooooo drunk
SHOOTERS II — You may see me at Shooters right now, and you may be intimidated by my sloppy dancing and rowdy behavior. You may have...
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The Fluke News Staff
Oct 30, 20191 min read
Freshman ready to be anything but himself for Halloween
EAST CAMPUS—Halloween season is approaching and no one is more excited than current freshman James Young, who is ready to dress up and...
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The Fluke News Staff
Oct 29, 20191 min read
“Being a cat for Halloween is so basic,” complains boy wearing jersey for 4th consecutive year
DURHAM, NC—Local fraternity member Chad Holt bravely spoke out against a popular girl’s Halloween costume: being a cat. “It’s just that...
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